Mixed Emotions

Today was the big day to return to the doctor. I was cleared from doctor's care today and told that I have bronchitis. I'm just glad it's not pneumonia again. I just can't wait to get feeling better. I'll start a Z-pack again and should feel better soon.

Now to what everyone really wants to know about. The stuff they got out was precancerous all the way around. I'm glad it wasn't cancer. I am going to be on birth control for 4 months. They don't want to run the risk of pregnancy and uterine cancer. They want to see if I can continue to shed the rest of the precancer on the lining. At that point I will have another biopsy, not looking forward to that, it hurts! If the biopsy comes back with no precancer we will move forward with fertility drugs and trying to get pregnant again. If precancer still appears the only other option is hysterectomy. I will go in right before my 30th birthday. I told Branden maybe that could be my 30th birthday present.

My feelings are kind of mixed. If we do the fertility drugs then it's back to the guessing game and the emotional roller coaster that goes along with it. At the same time, if I don't have regular cycles I have a high rate of developing uterine cancer, but they have not way of telling when. He said it could be 6 months from now and it could be 20 years. Even with cycles I still am at high risk. If I have a hysterectomy the guessing game is gone and all the PCOS issues along with it. At the same time, that means we're absolutely done. I guess then maybe we'll explore other options as a family.

Either way, I'm happy to be alive and to have a good husband who is always there to help and support me and assure me that the money put into my health is well worth it. I'm also grateful for a wonderful son who loves me unconditionally and is quite helpful. I love my family so very much. I'm also grateful for a mom and dad who are always watching out for and praying for me. I know they are always there and I really couldn't ask for better parents. I'm grateful for my siblings, in-laws, grandparents, and friends who help give me the strength and support that I need. I am one blessed girl and truly grateful for all that I have.

Hiking, Birthday Party, and Halloween

The week leading up to Halloween was kind of a crazy week. We carved pumpkins, went hiking twice, and celebrated Shanelle's 21st birthday. Carving pumpkins was fun, but I never took pics when they were done. Brax, Shanelle, and I spent a few hours outside carving. Shanelle made a ghost, Brax made a dragon and vampire, Branden's was an angry bird and Mario, and mine was a smurf and Happy Halloween. I decided next year I'm going to go get a carving kit to do more detailed work. It was a lot of fun and nice to have Nellie here to help me carve.


For Shanelle's birthday we made a cake, went out to dinner, and tried to make the day all about her. My parents also came down and took her to Thriller. We went hiking at Red Cliffs the day after with them as well. She has now moved out since things with her job didn't work out, but it was fun to celebrate with her.




The Saturday before Halloween Shanelle, Brax, and I decided to go hiking because it was the last time I'd be able to go for a while. We did the same hike at Red Cliffs, but went further. It was interesting. Brax was crying once we got to the foot holds because he was scared. Shanelle got him up and over. After that on our way back, the camera fell in about 3 ft. of water. I slid down and couldn't catch my footing and fell in also up to my waist. The water was cold, but we saved the camera. We took out the battery and memory card to dry them out and put it all in rice that night. Amazingly enough it survived. I was cold so we came home, but glad we went.


Halloween was an interesting adventure around here. We got up and got Brax ready for school and dropped him off on the way to the hospital. I went in for my surgery and was at the hospital for about 4 hours. My mom and Nellie went to the school to watch the parade which I was very grateful for. I spent most of the day on the couch and did give candy out from the couch when Branden let them in. Shanelle and our friends took Brax trick or treating and did the trunk or treat. Brax was Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. He struggled with the wings a little, but had a great time. Shanelle spent four days here to help me and moved home after that.

The surgery went quite well. I'm still tender and nauseated, but trying to rest. Branden says I need to do less, but it's very hard. I'll keep trying. I'll update more after I go to the doctor on Thursday. In the mean time, I can most likely be found on the couch.