The Adversary

A lot of thoughts that have been going through my mind over the past week. The adversary is cunning, sneaky, smart, and always trying to pull us down so we can feel misery like he does. He has been working so hard on me lately. All it takes sometimes is a little thought in your mind. I have been feeling out of place, that no one understands me. How many 29 year olds do you know that have struggled with infertility for 7.5 years and who also has precancer and a hysterectomy on their mind? Add a calling and being a mommy all into the fact and it can be overwhelming. I've just wanted someone who understands and I can talk to about things. In the mean time I have pushed my friends away and kind of become a hobbit in my house. All of this just making it worse. I finally broke down completely thanks to a chat with my dad. My dad is an amazing person who always knows just what to say and gives the best advice on what I should do. After a lot of prayer and crying, I've come to a conclusion. My friends and family may not know what I'm going through. They may not know when I'm having a hard time or that I need help. No matter what though, they are always there for me and they love me for who I am, faults and all. I also have a Heavenly Father who loves me and is always waiting to hear from me so He can help. It's funny how something so simple as getting on your knees and saying a prayer can change your whole state of mind. I'm grateful for the gospel in my life. I know I'm far from perfect, but am trying to be better. I'm thankful for the realizations I've come to over the last few days. This post is more for me to look back as a reminder to get on my knees.